My Reelity

Is this the reel life or is this just fantasy?

This Illusion

Posted by Ruok On April - 2 - 2007

About more than a month ago, this was telecast at last. I was curious to see how I did for this role, or more importantly, what was so special about this performance that it warranted a bump up to an “A” grade for me. But after viewing it, I have to honestly say, I really didn’t think I was that fantastic.

Be the judge of it yourself :

In fact, I think I was so, so much better in this one, comparatively :

I did the Anita Yuen one some five to six years ago, and at that time I was a “C” grade. And they have stubbornly refused to upgrade me on the strength of this scene then because, well, they said its not “good” enough. They didn’t upgrade me till last year, and again it wasn’t on the strength of this performance that I got upgraded.

I honestly don’t feel my performance as a color wolf beat the Anita Yuen one, but thought that maybe I should just wait and see the actual performance on screen first before I passed judgment. So you can imagine how disillusioned I was, after it was telecast, with the whole darn thing. I mean, to me, its as plain as day that this grading thing is a farce. There really doesn’t seem to be an equitable system of grading at all.

I was so disillusioned then that I actually responded to a job opening. I told myself that if I clinch the job, I’ll prolly not do this anymore. I mean whats the point when it all seems pointless anyway?

Its been more than a month, and I’ve more or less calmed down. The good feedback I’ve been receiving at rehearsals helped and has made me feel confident about my acting again. I’m not sure how much longer this nice welcome is gonna last, but it sure feels good to be in the arms of my first love again.

You guys might not see me in Chinese dramas for a while. Especially if things remain status quo. And I think you’ll all know why now.

On another note, some folks, after seeing my showreel, has refused to believe that I was really in the scene together with Anita. Just because they didn’t see her in the same frame as me in the clip (that was in the reel). Well, the above clip should lay these doubts to rest.

4 Responses to “This Illusion”

  1. gracey says:

    The way you slap yourself, I really felt painful for you..I do remember you in that Anita Yuen’s show, I was watching it way back and didn’t expect that I will get to know you..haha

  2. Ruok says:

    gracey, u do realise that its a very hard thing to tear oneself from the heaving bosom of Ms Xie. Trust me, the hard slaps are way necessary. 😉

    Wah u mean I had a fan already back then? 😛

  3. naeboo says:

    what?? they upgraded u based on the wolf scene???

    i also think the anita yuen one was lots better. got more lansi look and very sharp. colour wolf one so short. and every guy also can be humsap mah hahaaaha.

  4. Ruok says:

    boo, yeah lor. Thats why I sian 1/2. Bah make that 4/5.

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